Day 3

give me some more time please!! crap..its really difficult to have such a big change suddenly..sorry guys..

Day 2

not really sure how long am i gonna take..maybe afew days..or a few years..or forever..

wow..2 weeks since i last posted..

thought of lots of things..yeah..

TO EVERYONE RELATED TO ME,

Douglas is currently not in a good shape..give me time till i feel that i am good enough for you guys..SORRY EVERYONE! i just feel that i dont worth your care ..

arHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! crapppppppp stupid 2.4..i failed..then today just had my other 5 items..STUPID!! got full marks..zzz no gold cause of 2.4..die die die..my aim..my goal..my wish..all gone..zzz have to book in earlier for ns liao..SIAN!! zzzzzzz CRAP LA..i just cant run.. T_T

hahahhahahahahahahahahaha!! im still unstable..haha today had oral practice..mdm yani ask us to choose a partner we seldom or never chat with..haha then picked me and elaine..it wasnt that bad la..haha shes quite funny..entertaining..lol and the way she read..WAH LAU!! its like..i can never reach that standard? lol maybe.. hahah then i supposed to give her marks..i gave her a 10..then she not happy ask for more..HAHA no choice but to give 11 la..cause only found ONE mistake..haha..after that it was my turn..zzz..nian sit beside me..zzz got distracted by him..HAHA funny la..i read monotonously till mdm yani came..lol then act act abit..haha..in the end got a 6 -___________- and a 4 for picture discription -__________________- LOL!!

very very very sianned sia..why is it that everytime i talk to you in some other way you will always act blur 1? like i talking to myself leh..zzz..like despo..haha..say something la!! >.<

bahhhhhhhhhh!! lol lol lol.. totally mad now.. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! fuck la i got nothing to write!! zzz then i post for what? NOTHING NOTHING!! i dont know!! wah lauuuu what to do what to do what to do?!?!?!?!? arh crap la..same old stuff everyday..getting sick of it liao..change change change!!

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hasnt been posting for the last few days..yeah..cause was thinking about some stuff..have yet to finish my thoughts but feel that i have to come back here soon..

i told you about my jealousy towards some stuff..but was really happy on the reply you gave me..yeah..finally found myself a place in someone's heart..you said that i will never be replaced..this sentence really gave me a special feeling..which i have no words to describe at all..thank you..

i just hate the impression others have on you. its giving me the idea that you're the only one alive..im gonna prove everyone wrong. i will beat you in everything you do. as long as im still alive, your life is gonna be a living nightmare. having accomplished much, you showed me a sense of arrogant, as if you're the only person who is important..who is needed..let me tell you..this attitude of yours is never gonna bring you far..being the most self-centered guy i've ever seen, you will NEVER succeed.

i still havent tell you about my feeling..didnt have the chance to. im gonna let the matter rest and let you decide on what's gonna happen next after i tell u about my thoughts..but you seemed cold towards me..slowly..the character i see in you is getting blur..please give me a chance to talk to you.

current time - 10:53

at this very moment, i feel a strange feeling, coming from everywhere in all directions. i've been thinking about some things for the past few days, and have finally made up my mind? i guess so. hope this decision would make you happy..i was very confused days ago..lots of questions, but no answers..i know i have to answer them myself..i just find myself a loser =)

current time - 10:58

i type slow..gotta think of things to say before i type of course..yeah..a loser..definately. always forcing the other party to accept things or agree with me. i honestly dont think that it's nice..how i wish im more gentle? some things just cant be changed. yeah. but without even trying who the hell would know the results?

current time - 11:02

you kept telling me not to wait. i know somehow, you just feel that im a nuisance..but seriously im not waiting to stead with you. im waiting for the chance to let me say my thoughts. i truthfully think that we wont be together..but so what? that doesnt mean that i cant be with you to make you feel special..as long as im alive, you wont be alone. THIS IS A PROMISE I WILL NEVER BREAK.

current time - 11:05

im totally beaten..tired..and sick of this kind of treatment..its not the treatment that others give me..but its what i give myself. im so stupid i can barely see my brain in the x-ray. why must i always do this? why must i always stress myself up? why must i always be a loser? i think its time for a change again. at least this time, a more meaningful one..

current time - 11:10

i need to change the way i treat my friends..i know i have not been treating them as well since some time last year..but i just failed to change..it sucks..i know what some of you trying to imply. not that im a bad friend but just that i need to put in more attention to my friends. i need to understand them more, and know when they are feeling troubled. i think this is the least for a person like me to do. yes im a loser in love, so dont come to me when you are seeking for help. i'll just ruin your relationship life, trust me.

current time - 11:13

i know what are the things i need to change, and some ppl may not feel it at all, honestly its only meant for some ppl. (uncle says you are one of them) wonderful things dont come everyday, so just treasure whatever you have now, appreciate them, before you lose all of them. friends are one of it. i restrain myself from some of my friends today. i know its bad, to be 'dao' towards you guys, but im really not in the mood to talk. i know you guys will understand, orelse i wouldnt have been in such a good shape le..i just dont feel like talking at that part of time. even now, while im typing i too dont feel like talking. i feel that i cant really find a right person to talk to, thus i type all my feelings here.

current time - 11:19

its time for another change eh? this time its not that obvious i would say..its just part of a mental change bah..the way i think, the way i treat things, the way i treat ppl. i seriously dont want to disappoint my friends. DONE!

current time - 11:21

i've made up my mind..i'll let you know soon. just slowly looking for the time to talk. it is really important, so i really wish that somehow we can be alone when i say? hope i will not be in the majority by then.......